Our little bumbo guy!

Baby Boy

Tonight I again realized how blessed we are as a little family.  I was rocking our little guy and as I watched him sleep in my arms I couldn't get over how perfect he was.  He is such a wonderful little baby. He is happy all the time and so ready to smile.  I hope I never forget his adorable little 3 month old baby smile.  As I had him cuddled up in my arms I just realized how much I want to remember that moment and enjoy it because time is already going so fast.  He is such an amazing little guy and we are so blessed to have him in our family. 

soul glue

The other day I pulled out a rather obtrusive nose hair.  This was not an ordinary nose hair, for this particular nose hair was the single most important cellular structure on my entire body.  This particular nose hair was the very essence of my entire being.  As soon as I jerked it out, my soul fell apart.  Pain beyond that of even the worst toe cramp immediately shot through every fiber of my body.  Tears began streaming down my face.  I started sneezing uncontrollably over and over.  Involuntary shudders caused my arms and hands to quake.  My knees began to buckle and I grasped at the sink for support.  I saw the brilliant light of sweet release coming closer and closer.  The angelic voices of Heaven's host sang sweetly their beckoning song of welcome.

I had found my foundation; my cornerstone.  And then ripped it carelessly from the caverns of my nostril.

I should have just braided it in with the rest of them.

New Pics of our little family

New Pics

New Pics of Baby Boy.

How fast they change!

They grow so fast!

1 Week Old

 













2 Weeks Old

3 Weeks Old

Easton Colt was born Tuesday at 3:06 a.m. and weighed 7 lb 15 oz.  My water broke at 1 am Monday and then the doctors decided on a C-section 26 hours later!  But it was well worth it and our little baby boy came to us safe and sound.  He has been a great baby and eats and sleeps really well.  Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes.

poop rocket

Easton can shoot poop from his bum. So far, his best record is around 14 inches which turns out to be about the distance from one couch cushion to the other. Melissa won't let me see if I can beat him.

weird initials

An ECP is an Engineering Change Proposal. It's also all of these:

Enhanced Capability Port
Electromagnetic Compatibility Program
Electronic Communications in Probability
École Centrale Paris
Extended Capabilities Port
Encryption Control Protocol
Escadrilles Canadiennes de Plaisance
eosinophil cationic protein
Election Commission of Pakistan
Emergency Conservation Program
East Coast Parkway
Emergency Contraceptive Pill
Empty Category Principle
External Counterpulsation
Electronic Check Presentment
East Coast Park
Estradiol Cypionate
Emergency Care Practitioner
Employee Concerns Program
Eye Care Practitioner
Enlisted Commissioning Program
Effective Core Potential
Electrochemical Plating
Early Commissioning Program
Electron Capture
Eye Care Provider
European Cancer Prevention Organization
Enhanced Call Processing
European Common Proposal
Environmental Condition of Property
Electrochemical Corrosion Potential
External Casing Packer
Essential Community Provider
Experimental and Clinical Psychopharmacology
Extended Cutting Plane
Export Control Program
Electron Channeling Pattern
Executive Cellular Processor
Essence Communications Partners
Endoscopic Cyclo Photocoagulation
Empresa Colombiana de Petróleos
Earth Contact Products
Estimated Critical Position
Error Correction Protocol
Episcopal Church At Princeton
Electricity Capacity Planning
Elderly Cancer Patients
Entrepreneurial Competitive Profile
Employee Contribution Project
Emergency Call Processing
Enhanced Communication Protocol
Emission Control Program
Equivalent Circuit Parameter
Executive Control Program
Exposed Conductive Part
Emergency Contraception/Contraceptive Pill
Effective Communities Project
Eosinophil Chemotactic Protein
Electronic Check Presentation
Exercise Control Plan
Engineers' Club of Philadelphia
Exchange Coupled Pair
Extended Care Physicians
Events Center Paddock
Equipment Change Proposal
Emergency Command Precedence/Procedure
Environmental Control Processor
Equipment Collection Point
Excessive Cross-Post(ing)
East Capitol Pensionne
Exception Report Collection Process
Emergency Change Proposal
Emergency Cleanup Powder
Empowerment Contracting Program
Environment Compliance Plan
Electric Cooling Pump
Extended Care Paramedic
Expected Coverage Plan
Electronic Product Codec
Environmental Control Panel
Energy Conservation Product
Excepted Coverage Plan
Equivalent Component Pair
External Compliance Plan
Electronic Change Permit
Eject Chamber Pressure
Electronic Combat Pilot
European Chiefs of Police
EVGA Control Panel
Electronically Controlled Pneumatic
E-Commerce Platform
Early Commencement Program
Extended Care Program
Echo Chamber Project
Erosion Control Products
Environmental Conservation Program
Eye Care Professional
Entry Control Point
Early College Program
European Commercial Paper
Escherichia Coli Common Pilus

But my most favorite definition for ECP is Easton Colt Pierce who was born into our little family at 03:06 June 5, 2012 weighing 7 lbs 15 oz and measuring 21" with a 14" circumference head.

If the circumference of your head was 66.7% your height, people would laugh at you.

just in

Apparently, we're having a baby. Today. I guess that means we won't need to take a picture next to the wall this morning.

class of '99

PriZam,

Wow! Like, how totally awesome that you're finally graduated! That's, like, so cool! I can't believe these last, like, nine years have gone by so, like, totally fast! It's almost like we were so awesome we were, like, moving faster than light years or something!

You were so cool! Oh, except for the last couple of years when you couldn't hold your R-134 air conditioning coolant. That was, like, definitely not cool. More like scorching hot. Which was, like definitely not so good when you were bringing all my coworkers from Promontory and, like, totally overheated forcing us to sit at the bottom of the Magna hill for 35 minutes in the, like, 104 degree heat with the heater on while we waited for you to cool down. That was, like, also definitely not cool.

But that's totally okay because your awesome anti-theft device was the awesomest. Like, who would have thought letting totally bad guys IN the car but totally not letting bad guys OUT of the car would be such an awesome theft deterrent! It's like you totally meant to break all four of your inside door handles. Twice.

And I, like, LO-VED the way you never used to need an oil change! It's like you totally knew we wouldn't ever, like, actually do it so you just, like, dribbled it out so we would have to add more every month. That was, like, so awesome! I totally wonder why new cars don't have self-cleaning oil systems like that.

Oh, and the way you always tried to save us money by not having us have to buy, like, windshield washer fluid - that was like you were so far ahead of the whole 'green' thing that, like, everyone except Kermit the Frog is talking about. That's so cool how you, like, totally didn't care if the windshield was dirty and would just use the rain to clean it off. It's like people are so, like, reliant on the squirter things and stuff.

So there are, like, so many other things that you are, like, so good at! You totally should have been voted Most Likely To Never Die Even When Everyone Else Wanted You To. It's, like, so not fair that you were totally replaced by that new car. Like, what a jerk face thing to, like, do! You totally deserve better!

Never change!

<3

Justin

9 Months and Counting

But that still means four weeks left (or more or less!)

pure genius

Testing the new baby monitor seemed like a really good idea.  It's possible that testing it by telling Melissa to stay in the living room with the parent unit while I took the nursery unit into 'a different room' to broadcast a rather raucous session of throne sitting was a less good idea.

For her.

For me: pure comedic genius.

learning opportunity

Many moons ago, I took a history of creativity course as an elective because it sounded like a cakewalk class I wanted to be learned.  The final for that course consisted of building/performing/making a major project that was then showcased for the entire university to praise and adore.  For my project, I built a soapbox derby car painted to look like a Curtiss P-40 Warhawk from WWII.  I'm sure I don't have to say this, but yes, it was as awesome as you think it was.  It was even better because the derby car was fully functional. 

In fact, it was functional enough that I took it down a rather large hill.  Except that when I say 'fully functional', I actually mean, 'everything pretty much works except mostly the brake and sometimes, if it's going too fast, the wheels fall off'.  I found this out because the hill I took it down falls into the 'I guess the push start was wholly unnecessary...' category.

It was awesome.

Or at least it would have been, had my wonderful wife not decided to start screaming instead of continuing filming when I spun around backwards, the wheel fell off, and the brake kind of broke a little, sending me careening towards a certain doom also known as The Sidewalk where I only slide on my head a little bit.  This is where Melissa could use Archie D'Mello as a learning opportunity.  Archie D'Mello understands that pictures last a lifetime and pictures make the story all that much better. 

That's why Archie D'Mello took pictures as his wife was attacked by cheetahs at a petting zoo in South Africa. Of course.

poor effort

I'm a little disappointed in my neighbors. This year's Dandelion Growing Contest was an absolute blowout. I didn't even have to try and I smoked pretty much everyone in the entire neighborhood. In fact, it's almost as though nobody else even WANTED dandelions - I couldn't see a single one on any of their lawns. There was definitely a serious lack of commitment on their parts.

What a lame contest.

8 months!!! (That means 8 weeks left.)

Seven Months and Counting

We are getting closer!

super powers

If everyone else had a super power and you didn't have a super power, would that mean that you actually had the only super power?  I think if you don't agree with that statement it's kind of unfortunate because if you did think that then you could go through life thinking that you had a super power just by assuming that everyone else had a super power but you didn't have one so your super power was not having a super power.  Obviously, this assumption is not flawed at all because if everyone else did have a super power they would keep it hidden so you wouldn't know they had one thereby validating your fundamental assumption that everyone else had a super power. That's some sound logic. 

 

I bet you had to read that twice. Which is good because I didn't read it twice. By not reading it twice I keep myself from seeing how absurd I sound when things make the transition from my brain to the computer screen.  What am I even thinking? Obviously, everybody has super powers so that's a ridiculous question in the first place. Anyways, I'm going to go fly around my living room while shooting flames from my eyeballs at the Asian beetles invading our house.

scene two

SCENE: JUSTIN IS SLEEPING IN THE GARAGE. ON THE FLOOR. BY HIMSELF. FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE. THE HEAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE ON...

scene one

SCENE: MELISSA AND JUSTIN'S MASTER BEDROOM, VERY LATE AT NIGHT

MELISSA IS LAYING ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE BED ON HER SIDE FACING JUSTIN'S BACK. SHE HAD JUST WOKEN UP FROM SLEEPING ON THE COUCH AND THEY HAD BOTH COME UP TO THE BED. JUSTIN IS SETTING HIS ALARM CLOCK TO WAKE UP REALLY EARLY ON A SUNDAY MORNING.

JUSTIN

(unexpected burst of flatulence)

('unexpected' only in the volume and substance, not that Justin was completely surprised that it was coming - he, in fact, was not surprised at all that it was coming)

(as in, even recognizing that it's only February, this particular flatulence will probably rank top 10 of the year)

BRIEF MOMENT OF SILENCE - APPROXIMATELY 0.08 SECONDS

MELISSA

MOVE...AWAY! OH MY GOODNESS. THAT IS SOOO RANK!

 

MELISSA

MOVE...AWAY! (starts thrashing violently with legs)

 

MELISSA

MOOVE...AWAAY! MOVE AWAY! MOVE AWAY! MOVE AWAY! (thrashes violently with legs and arms)

 

MELISSA

(still thrashing, now with knees and elbows)

YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME THROW UP! THAT IS SO RANK! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO STINKY? MOVE AWAY!

JUSTIN

(not smelling anything at all)

(and having a very difficult time setting the alarm)

(also, knowing that Melissa is in full-on 'I could not be less happy with you' mode, having a very difficult time not laughing out loud uncontrollably)

MELISSA

(still thrashing, now with knees elbows and possibly her chin just for good measure)

MOVE AWAY! DON'T POINT TOWARDS ME! MOVE AWAY! IT'S SO STINKY! MOVE AWAY!

 

MELISSA

(stops thrashing quite as violently, probably just around misdemeanor battery level)

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SO MEAN! MOVE AWAY!

(slowly begins to fall asleep)

BRIEF MOMENT OF NEAR SILENCE EXCEPT THE SHAKING OF SHOULDERS CAUSED BY INVOLUNTARY SILENT LAUGHTER FROM JUSTIN - APPROXIMATELY 3.8 SECONDS

MELISSA FALLS ASLEEP

MELISSA

(pooters eight times rapid fire, like an old lady walking down the sidewalk)

awkward conversations

Pretty much every awkward conversation has a tipping point at which it actually becomes awkward - the point at which silence is better than anything that could possibly be said. Silence, or a terrible car accident. Terrible car accidents are also a good way to end an awkward conversation.

I think the best way to determine if your conversation is going to be awkward is to just jump right in. No meaningless chit-chat beforehand, just full on awkwardness. Like if you were going to ask a friend to father your child. With your significant other. That should be something you should just come right out and ask.

And then you should run the car into a bridge pylon.

One week at a time

Here is the latest pic of little baby boy!


And of me at the 6 month mark. We're getting there!

poll closed

The majority of you are losers. How does that feel?

I think it feels great. But then again, I wasn't in the majority.

high class

As I was reading through posts made over the last couple of years I noticed that this blog has a fairly high percentage of potty related posts.  This is wholly unacceptable and I definitely feel the need to do something to rectify the situation. After all, this is supposed to be a family friendly blog.

As such, I would like to let you all know that Melissa's pregnancy has some weird side-effects; namely when I pee, she barfs.

That should bump our percentage from 'fairly high' to 'high'.

new possibilities

I think everyone has at least one ethereal experience that really can't be compared to anything they've ever experienced before. As Melissa and I prepare to become parents, I had one of those good fortunes. I'm sure you're all wondering what could have created such a feeling of elation and euphoria so I'll tell you.

I found out that I may have the opportunity to someday own a goat riding monkey. Don't worry, I too was floored by the mere possibility.

Unfortunately, the wait could be long and tedious as the only goat riding monkey that I've ever heard of was in China and had the bad habit of riding his goat into a neighboring farmer's field and "eating and causing trouble". It was a pretty smart monkey though - it would wait until there were no workers in the field before commencing his shenanigans.

I would train my goat riding monkey to be more respectful.

big surprise

I think a pretty big surprise would be if somebody you were looking at suddenly woke up, then died.  I think an even bigger surprise would be if that person you were looking at was laying in a coffin and you thought they were already dead.

That's kind of what happened to a guy in Russia.  His wife had a heart attack and the doctors told him she was dead.  Then, during the funeral, she woke up.  Surprise!  Then she died.  Surprise again!  She died because all of her friends and family were standing around her mourning that she was dead.  It shocked her so much that now she is.  I'm not sure if that means people would have said she was predictable or not.

I guess that really saves time on planning the funeral though.  Of course, without any kind of embalming, it kind of sounds like the lady was sort of stuck in a box at the lowest price possible, so maybe the guy wasn't really out all that much in the first place.  But at least you don't have to return all the condolence potatoes and vodka.