tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88978072009508850512024-03-13T20:45:26.899-06:00The Pierce's PontificationAnother 10 minutes of your life you'll never get back...Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.comBlogger136125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-33016478131755921642013-08-16T10:22:00.001-06:002013-08-16T10:22:26.276-06:00dangerous walking<div>My company missed the memo that says motorcycle parking is always close to the door so when I ride the motorcycle in to work, I get to park at the very back of the parking lot. That, in and of itself, is a lot of fun but but even more fun is the fact that sometimes I forget how long the parking lot is and on my way out of the office I put on my helmet about 10 yards out the front guard shack. If I were parked where normal motorcycle parking is, I would be putting on my helmet just as I got to my parking space.</div> <div> </div> <div>But I'm not.</div> <div> </div> <div>Which means I get to wear a helmet as I walk the remaining 137 yards to where my bike is parked. I like to pretend that wearing the helmet makes me safer because we have an extraordinarily dangerous parking lot, as though out of nowhere light posts could fall on my head or I could fall into a sinkhole or a maniacal disgruntled employee will try to run me down and only by wearing a helmet will I be safe. But really it's no more dangerous than any other parking lot and probably even safer than most. So I just look like a dork.</div> <div> </div> <div>As a note: riding a motorcycle is not nearly as cool when you look like a dork.</div> <div> </div> <div>As another note: this blog entry is not about poop. You're welcome, Christen.</div> Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-88512865006334756612013-06-04T19:59:00.001-06:002013-06-04T20:30:34.005-06:00return fireI just had a poop emergency. I had to pull into a gas station and just barely made it before utterly destroying their toilet. I felt bad afterwards so I bought a dollar candy bar. I definitely did not buy a compensatory amount of merchandise. It's the cheapest toilet I have ever destroyed.
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I was feeling really bad for Gas Station Guy Ben because if his sense of smell is even a fraction that of a dog, his eyes will have begun bleeding long ago. And he was alone in there so there's a fair chance his curled up body, with stale licorice sticks shoved up his nose, won't be found until tomorrow. But now that I think about it a little more, I like to think this is my own little way of gas price inflation payback.<br />
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Fighting gas with gas. It's brilliant.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-26241606375701069432013-03-18T18:10:00.001-06:002013-03-18T18:12:24.280-06:00personalized giftPeople say the best kind of gifts are the ones that come from the heart; the homemade gifts that really show you put some thought and deliberation into whatever present you're bestowing upon the gracious receiver. I don't necessarily agree with this philosophy. I think guns are a way better gift than something homemade. Unless it's a homemade gun. That's a pretty good gift.
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However, if make the fairly good assumption that I have no idea what I'm talking about and pretend just for a minute that homemade, heartfelt gifts really are the best kind of gift, I would like to say that if any of you get a sweater from me for Christmas or your birthday or some other momentous occasion in your life, you can be rest assured that it will be the best, most heartfelt gift you'll ever (ever) receive.
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Because I'm going to make it from my back fur.
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You're welcome.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-66624903432982566062013-03-12T13:40:00.001-06:002013-03-12T13:40:01.100-06:00flatulence breakdown<div>I read once that dogs have a sense of smell anywhere from 10,000-100,000 times more sensitive than that of a human. This allows them to not only smell much better than we do and to smell things we would never normally be able to smell, but to distinguish between smells much better than we do as well. The example I remember was that of a chocolate chip cookie: we smell the chocolate chip cookie as a whole, dogs can smell the individual ingredients of the chocolate chip cookie - the flour, the sugar, the baking soda, and eggs all come out as individual smells to a dog. This is why they're able to locate individual scents within a whole conglomeration of different smells.</div> <div> </div> <div>So this raises the question, if a dog truly can smell individual smells as outlined, what do they smell when you flatulate? What kind of farticulate breakdown would that result in? Bruce seems to become rather interested in my buttock area whenever I happen to 'vent' (which is a VERY rare occurrence, I assure you, and when it does happen, it always smells like daisies in the breeze), so it's kind of an interesting question. </div> <div> </div> <div>Also, I'm pretty sure they can't smell 10,000 times better than humans because if they could, Bruce would be dead. The only time I've seen him be uninterested in chasing a ball was after another member of my household (who shall remain unnamed to protect her identity) pootered. Bruce made a very firm decision to sit on the other side of the room until he moved into the kitchen. He's a pretty smart dog.</div> Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-87436117900418314562013-02-14T16:43:00.000-07:002013-02-17T21:23:51.424-07:00Fun at the Mall of America aquarium<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01575198861108573872noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-82244402645526156812012-09-15T19:54:00.002-06:002012-09-15T19:54:35.103-06:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Our little bumbo guy!<br /><br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01575198861108573872noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-7568665981973749362012-09-06T22:15:00.001-06:002012-09-06T22:15:39.148-06:00Baby Boy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tonight I again realized how blessed we are as a little family. I was rocking our little guy and as I watched him sleep in my arms I couldn't get over how perfect he was. He is such a wonderful little baby. He is happy all the time and so ready to smile. I hope I never forget his adorable little 3 month old baby smile. As I had him cuddled up in my arms I just realized how much I want to remember that moment and enjoy it because time is already going so fast. He is such an amazing little guy and we are so blessed to have him in our family. <br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-poNtnCEQqW4/UEl0mCWJ_pI/AAAAAAAAAfM/odNLwJjyWxg/s1600/IMG_1357.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-poNtnCEQqW4/UEl0mCWJ_pI/AAAAAAAAAfM/odNLwJjyWxg/s320/IMG_1357.JPG" width="320" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01575198861108573872noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-53248495099933644552012-08-20T14:39:00.001-06:002012-08-20T19:59:41.854-06:00soul glue<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">The other day I pulled out a rather obtrusive nose hair. This was not an ordinary nose hair, for this particular nose hair was the single most important cellular structure on my entire body. This particular nose hair was the very essence of my entire being. As soon as I jerked it out, my soul fell apart. Pain beyond that of even the worst toe cramp immediately shot through every fiber of my body. Tears began streaming down my face. I started sneezing uncontrollably over and over. Involuntary shudders caused my arms and hands to quake. My knees began to buckle and I grasped at the sink for support. I saw the brilliant light of sweet release coming closer and closer. The angelic voices of Heaven's host sang sweetly their beckoning song of welcome.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">I had found my foundation; my cornerstone. And then ripped it carelessly from the caverns of my nostril.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">I should have just braided it in with the rest of them.</span></div>
Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-85973942999110640012012-08-07T12:28:00.003-06:002012-08-07T12:28:58.781-06:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01575198861108573872noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-34342564352216139972012-07-20T20:38:00.000-06:002012-07-20T20:38:11.515-06:00New Pics<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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New Pics of Baby Boy.<br />
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<br />Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-9033601093731859962012-06-28T13:55:00.000-06:002012-06-28T13:55:56.974-06:00How fast they change!They grow so fast!<br />
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1 Week Old<br />
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2 Weeks Old<br />
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3 Weeks Old</div>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01575198861108573872noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-8958843640673026972012-06-12T15:36:00.000-06:002012-06-12T15:36:27.576-06:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Easton Colt was born Tuesday at 3:06 a.m. and weighed 7 lb 15 oz. My water broke at 1 am Monday and then the doctors decided on a C-section 26 hours later! But it was well worth it and our little baby boy came to us safe and sound. He has been a great baby and eats and sleeps really well. Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes.</div>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01575198861108573872noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-42949575658989642812012-06-10T15:42:00.001-06:002012-06-10T15:42:11.710-06:00poop rocketEaston can shoot poop from his bum. So far, his best record is around 14 inches which turns out to be about the distance from one couch cushion to the other. Melissa won't let me see if I can beat him.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-21106332879352850322012-06-08T08:10:00.001-06:002012-06-16T08:35:07.942-06:00weird initialsAn ECP is an Engineering Change Proposal. It's also all of these:<br />
<br />
Enhanced Capability Port<br />
Electromagnetic Compatibility Program<br />
Electronic Communications in Probability<br />
École Centrale Paris<br />
Extended Capabilities Port<br />
Encryption Control Protocol<br />
Escadrilles Canadiennes de Plaisance<br />
eosinophil cationic protein<br />
Election Commission of Pakistan<br />
Emergency Conservation Program<br />
East Coast Parkway<br />
Emergency Contraceptive Pill<br />
Empty Category Principle<br />
External Counterpulsation<br />
Electronic Check Presentment<br />
East Coast Park<br />
Estradiol Cypionate<br />
Emergency Care Practitioner<br />
Employee Concerns Program<br />
Eye Care Practitioner<br />
Enlisted Commissioning Program<br />
Effective Core Potential<br />
Electrochemical Plating<br />
Early Commissioning Program<br />
Electron Capture<br />
Eye Care Provider<br />
European Cancer Prevention Organization<br />
Enhanced Call Processing<br />
European Common Proposal<br />
Environmental Condition of Property<br />
Electrochemical Corrosion Potential<br />
External Casing Packer<br />
Essential Community Provider<br />
Experimental and Clinical Psychopharmacology<br />
Extended Cutting Plane<br />
Export Control Program<br />
Electron Channeling Pattern<br />
Executive Cellular Processor<br />
Essence Communications Partners<br />
Endoscopic Cyclo Photocoagulation<br />
Empresa Colombiana de Petróleos <br />
Earth Contact Products<br />
Estimated Critical Position<br />
Error Correction Protocol<br />
Episcopal Church At Princeton<br />
Electricity Capacity Planning<br />
Elderly Cancer Patients<br />
Entrepreneurial Competitive Profile<br />
Employee Contribution Project<br />
Emergency Call Processing<br />
Enhanced Communication Protocol<br />
Emission Control Program<br />
Equivalent Circuit Parameter<br />
Executive Control Program<br />
Exposed Conductive Part<br />
Emergency Contraception/Contraceptive Pill<br />
Effective Communities Project<br />
Eosinophil Chemotactic Protein<br />
Electronic Check Presentation<br />
Exercise Control Plan<br />
Engineers' Club of Philadelphia<br />
Exchange Coupled Pair<br />
Extended Care Physicians<br />
Events Center Paddock<br />
Equipment Change Proposal<br />
Emergency Command Precedence/Procedure<br />
Environmental Control Processor<br />
Equipment Collection Point<br />
Excessive Cross-Post(ing)<br />
East Capitol Pensionne<br />
Exception Report Collection Process<br />
Emergency Change Proposal<br />
Emergency Cleanup Powder<br />
Empowerment Contracting Program<br />
Environment Compliance Plan<br />
Electric Cooling Pump<br />
Extended Care Paramedic<br />
Expected Coverage Plan<br />
Electronic Product Codec<br />
Environmental Control Panel<br />
Energy Conservation Product<br />
Excepted Coverage Plan<br />
Equivalent Component Pair<br />
External Compliance Plan<br />
Electronic Change Permit<br />
Eject Chamber Pressure<br />
Electronic Combat Pilot<br />
European Chiefs of Police<br />
EVGA Control Panel<br />
Electronically Controlled Pneumatic<br />
E-Commerce Platform<br />
Early Commencement Program<br />
Extended Care Program<br />
Echo Chamber Project<br />
Erosion Control Products<br />
Environmental Conservation Program<br />
Eye Care Professional<br />
Entry Control Point<br />
Early College Program<br />
European Commercial Paper<br />
Escherichia Coli Common Pilus<br />
<br />
But my most favorite definition for ECP is Easton Colt Pierce who was born into our little family at 03:06 June 5, 2012 weighing 7 lbs 15 oz and measuring 21" with a 14" circumference head.<br />
<br />
If the circumference of your head was 66.7% your height, people would laugh at you.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-60211037542290604432012-06-04T08:20:00.001-06:002012-06-04T08:20:36.967-06:00just inApparently, we're having a baby. Today. I guess that means we won't need to take a picture next to the wall this morning.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-28430984275325841482012-06-03T11:09:00.000-06:002012-06-03T11:12:15.334-06:00class of '99PriZam,<br />
<br />
Wow! Like, how totally awesome that you're finally graduated! That's, like, so cool! I can't believe these last, like, nine years have gone by so, like, totally fast! It's almost like we were so awesome we were, like, moving faster than light years or something!<br />
<br />
You were so cool! Oh, except for the last couple of years when you couldn't hold your R-134 air conditioning coolant. That was, like, definitely not cool. More like scorching hot. Which was, like definitely not so good when you were bringing all my coworkers from Promontory and, like, totally overheated forcing us to sit at the bottom of the Magna hill for 35 minutes in the, like, 104 degree heat with the heater on while we waited for you to cool down. That was, like, also definitely not cool. <br />
<br />
But that's totally okay because your awesome anti-theft device was the awesomest. Like, who would have thought letting totally bad guys IN the car but totally not letting bad guys OUT of the car would be such an awesome theft deterrent! It's like you totally meant to break all four of your inside door handles. Twice. <br />
<br />
And I, like, LO-VED the way you never used to need an oil change! It's like you totally knew we wouldn't ever, like, actually do it so you just, like, dribbled it out so we would have to add more every month. That was, like, so awesome! I totally wonder why new cars don't have self-cleaning oil systems like that.<br />
<br />
Oh, and the way you always tried to save us money by not having us have to buy, like, windshield washer fluid - that was like you were so far ahead of the whole 'green' thing that, like, everyone except Kermit the Frog is talking about. That's so cool how you, like, totally didn't care if the windshield was dirty and would just use the rain to clean it off. It's like people are so, like, reliant on the squirter things and stuff. <br />
<br />
So there are, like, so many other things that you are, like, so good at! You totally should have been voted Most Likely To Never Die Even When Everyone Else Wanted You To. It's, like, so not fair that you were totally replaced by that new car. Like, what a jerk face thing to, like, do! You totally deserve better!<br />
<br />
Never change!<br />
<br />
<3<br />
<br />
Justin<br />Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-32971621855087477022012-05-15T18:15:00.000-06:002012-05-15T18:15:17.616-06:009 Months and CountingBut that still means four weeks left (or more or less!)<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01575198861108573872noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-13866119778539411212012-05-11T22:53:00.002-06:002012-05-11T22:53:50.428-06:00pure geniusTesting the new baby monitor seemed like a really good idea. It's possible that testing it by telling Melissa to stay in the living room with the parent unit while I took the nursery unit into 'a different room' to broadcast a rather raucous session of throne sitting was a less good idea.<br />
<br />
For her.<br />
<br />
For me: pure comedic genius.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-5545761873639948612012-05-07T15:38:00.001-06:002012-05-11T22:56:41.141-06:00learning opportunityMany moons ago, I took a history of creativity course as an elective because <strike>it sounded like a cakewalk class</strike> I wanted to be learned. The final for that course consisted of building/performing/making a major project that was then showcased for the entire university to praise and adore. For my project, I built a soapbox derby car painted to look like a Curtiss P-40 Warhawk from WWII. I'm sure I don't have to say this, but yes, it was as awesome as you think it was. It was even better because the derby car was fully functional. <br />
<br />
In fact, it was functional enough that I took it down a rather large hill. Except that when I say 'fully functional', I actually mean, 'everything pretty much works except mostly the brake and sometimes, if it's going too fast, the wheels fall off'. I found this out because the hill I took it down falls into the 'I guess the push start was wholly unnecessary...' category.<br />
<br />
It was awesome.<br />
<br />
Or at least it would have been, had my wonderful wife not decided to start screaming instead of continuing filming when I spun around backwards, the wheel fell off, and the brake kind of broke a little, sending me careening towards a certain doom also known as The Sidewalk where I only slide on my head a little bit. This is where Melissa could use Archie D'Mello as a learning opportunity. Archie D'Mello understands that pictures last a lifetime and pictures make the story all that much better. <br />
<br />
That's why Archie D'Mello took pictures as his wife was attacked by cheetahs at a petting zoo in South Africa. Of course.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-70458031181364489312012-04-29T08:04:00.000-06:002012-04-29T08:04:28.427-06:00poor effortI'm a little disappointed in my neighbors. This year's Dandelion Growing Contest was an absolute blowout. I didn't even have to try and I smoked pretty much everyone in the entire neighborhood. In fact, it's almost as though nobody else even WANTED dandelions - I couldn't see a single one on any of their lawns. There was definitely a serious lack of commitment on their parts.<br />
<br />
What a lame contest.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-31801965086009808352012-04-16T17:18:00.000-06:002012-04-16T17:18:00.937-06:008 months!!! (That means 8 weeks left.)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-32934923272358603222012-03-22T20:40:00.002-06:002012-03-22T20:42:08.769-06:00Seven Months and CountingWe are getting closer!<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TN9bTF2jPUA/T2viy6aG1CI/AAAAAAAAAbc/Q42NhGF0TDA/s1600/image.JPG"><br /><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TN9bTF2jPUA/T2viy6aG1CI/AAAAAAAAAbc/Q42NhGF0TDA/s200/image.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722917115804439586" border="0" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01575198861108573872noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-24641400775658817422012-03-12T13:52:00.001-06:002012-03-12T13:52:12.409-06:00super powers<div><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">If everyone else had a super power and you didn't have a super power, would that mean that you actually had the only super power? I think if you don't agree with that statement it's kind of unfortunate because if you did think that then you could go through life thinking that you had a super power just by assuming that everyone else had a super power but you didn't have one so your super power was not having a super power. Obviously, this assumption is not flawed at all because if everyone else did have a super power they would keep it hidden so you wouldn't know they had one thereby validating your fundamental assumption that everyone else had a super power. That's some sound logic. </font></div> <div><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif"></font> </div> <div><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">I bet you had to read that twice. Which is good because I didn't read it twice. By not reading it twice I keep myself from seeing how absurd I sound when things make the transition from my brain to the computer screen. What am I even thinking? Obviously, everybody has super powers so that's a ridiculous question in the first place. Anyways, I'm going to go fly around my living room while shooting flames from my eyeballs at the Asian beetles invading our house.</font></div> Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-23298831830189206052012-02-26T16:27:00.000-07:002012-02-26T16:27:29.782-07:00scene twoSCENE: JUSTIN IS SLEEPING IN THE GARAGE. ON THE FLOOR. BY HIMSELF. FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE. THE HEAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE ON...Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8897807200950885051.post-4952226957307400562012-02-26T16:14:00.000-07:002012-02-26T16:14:13.060-07:00scene oneSCENE: MELISSA AND JUSTIN'S MASTER BEDROOM, VERY LATE AT NIGHT<br />
<br />
MELISSA IS LAYING ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE BED ON HER SIDE FACING JUSTIN'S BACK. SHE HAD JUST WOKEN UP FROM SLEEPING ON THE COUCH AND THEY HAD BOTH COME UP TO THE BED. JUSTIN IS SETTING HIS ALARM CLOCK TO WAKE UP REALLY EARLY ON A SUNDAY MORNING.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
JUSTIN</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(unexpected burst of flatulence)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>('unexpected' only in the volume and substance, not that Justin was completely surprised that it was coming - he, in fact, was not surprised at all that it was coming)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(as in, even recognizing that it's only February, this particular flatulence will probably rank top 10 of the year)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
BRIEF MOMENT OF SILENCE - APPROXIMATELY 0.08 SECONDS</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
MELISSA</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>MOVE...AWAY! OH MY GOODNESS. THAT IS SOOO RANK!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b> </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
MELISSA</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>MOVE...AWAY! </b><i>(starts thrashing violently with legs)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
MELISSA</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>MOOVE...AWAAY! MOVE AWAY! MOVE AWAY! MOVE AWAY! </b><i>(thrashes violently with legs and arms)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
MELISSA</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(still thrashing, now with knees and elbows)</i><b> </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME THROW UP! THAT IS SO RANK! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO STINKY? MOVE AWAY!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
JUSTIN</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(not smelling anything at all) </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(and having a very difficult time setting the alarm)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(also, knowing that Melissa is in full-on 'I could not be less happy with you' mode, having a very difficult time not laughing out loud uncontrollably) </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
MELISSA</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(still thrashing, now with knees elbows and possibly her chin just for good measure)</i> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>MOVE AWAY! DON'T POINT TOWARDS ME! MOVE AWAY! IT'S SO STINKY! MOVE AWAY!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b> </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
MELISSA</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(stops thrashing quite as violently, probably just around misdemeanor battery level)</i> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SO MEAN! MOVE AWAY!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(slowly begins to fall asleep)</i><b> </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
BRIEF MOMENT OF NEAR SILENCE EXCEPT THE SHAKING OF SHOULDERS CAUSED BY INVOLUNTARY SILENT LAUGHTER FROM JUSTIN - APPROXIMATELY 3.8 SECONDS</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
MELISSA FALLS ASLEEP </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
MELISSA</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(pooters eight times rapid fire, like an old lady walking down the sidewalk</i>)</div>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04702503364867936975noreply@blogger.com4