class of '99

PriZam,

Wow! Like, how totally awesome that you're finally graduated! That's, like, so cool! I can't believe these last, like, nine years have gone by so, like, totally fast! It's almost like we were so awesome we were, like, moving faster than light years or something!

You were so cool! Oh, except for the last couple of years when you couldn't hold your R-134 air conditioning coolant. That was, like, definitely not cool. More like scorching hot. Which was, like definitely not so good when you were bringing all my coworkers from Promontory and, like, totally overheated forcing us to sit at the bottom of the Magna hill for 35 minutes in the, like, 104 degree heat with the heater on while we waited for you to cool down. That was, like, also definitely not cool.

But that's totally okay because your awesome anti-theft device was the awesomest. Like, who would have thought letting totally bad guys IN the car but totally not letting bad guys OUT of the car would be such an awesome theft deterrent! It's like you totally meant to break all four of your inside door handles. Twice.

And I, like, LO-VED the way you never used to need an oil change! It's like you totally knew we wouldn't ever, like, actually do it so you just, like, dribbled it out so we would have to add more every month. That was, like, so awesome! I totally wonder why new cars don't have self-cleaning oil systems like that.

Oh, and the way you always tried to save us money by not having us have to buy, like, windshield washer fluid - that was like you were so far ahead of the whole 'green' thing that, like, everyone except Kermit the Frog is talking about. That's so cool how you, like, totally didn't care if the windshield was dirty and would just use the rain to clean it off. It's like people are so, like, reliant on the squirter things and stuff.

So there are, like, so many other things that you are, like, so good at! You totally should have been voted Most Likely To Never Die Even When Everyone Else Wanted You To. It's, like, so not fair that you were totally replaced by that new car. Like, what a jerk face thing to, like, do! You totally deserve better!

Never change!

<3

Justin