awkward conversations

Pretty much every awkward conversation has a tipping point at which it actually becomes awkward - the point at which silence is better than anything that could possibly be said. Silence, or a terrible car accident. Terrible car accidents are also a good way to end an awkward conversation.

I think the best way to determine if your conversation is going to be awkward is to just jump right in. No meaningless chit-chat beforehand, just full on awkwardness. Like if you were going to ask a friend to father your child. With your significant other. That should be something you should just come right out and ask.

And then you should run the car into a bridge pylon.

One week at a time

Here is the latest pic of little baby boy!


And of me at the 6 month mark. We're getting there!

poll closed

The majority of you are losers. How does that feel?

I think it feels great. But then again, I wasn't in the majority.

high class

As I was reading through posts made over the last couple of years I noticed that this blog has a fairly high percentage of potty related posts.  This is wholly unacceptable and I definitely feel the need to do something to rectify the situation. After all, this is supposed to be a family friendly blog.

As such, I would like to let you all know that Melissa's pregnancy has some weird side-effects; namely when I pee, she barfs.

That should bump our percentage from 'fairly high' to 'high'.

new possibilities

I think everyone has at least one ethereal experience that really can't be compared to anything they've ever experienced before. As Melissa and I prepare to become parents, I had one of those good fortunes. I'm sure you're all wondering what could have created such a feeling of elation and euphoria so I'll tell you.

I found out that I may have the opportunity to someday own a goat riding monkey. Don't worry, I too was floored by the mere possibility.

Unfortunately, the wait could be long and tedious as the only goat riding monkey that I've ever heard of was in China and had the bad habit of riding his goat into a neighboring farmer's field and "eating and causing trouble". It was a pretty smart monkey though - it would wait until there were no workers in the field before commencing his shenanigans.

I would train my goat riding monkey to be more respectful.