04 June 2013

return fire

I just had a poop emergency. I had to pull into a gas station and just barely made it before utterly destroying their toilet. I felt bad afterwards so I bought a dollar candy bar. I definitely did not buy a compensatory amount of merchandise. It's the cheapest toilet I have ever destroyed.

I was feeling really bad for Gas Station Guy Ben because if his sense of smell is even a fraction that of a dog, his eyes will have begun bleeding long ago. And he was alone in there so there's a fair chance his curled up body, with stale licorice sticks shoved up his nose, won't be found until tomorrow. But now that I think about it a little more, I like to think this is my own little way of gas price inflation payback.

Fighting gas with gas. It's brilliant.

1 comment:

Linda Stahr said...

This made me laugh out loud. You and Dad should talk. He did the same to a bathroom in Canada when he helped me move. I think his words were, "Just leave. Quickly." And I don't think he bought anything.