14 October 2009

security envelopes

As I sat at my computer recently (just now), I noticed a box of 'Security Envelopes' sitting on my desk. Not only do they have a "Moisture Sealing Adhesive Flap" but they are also "Security Tinted for Confidential Mailings". Tinted like bullet-proof limousines. But more like easily ripped paper with a sort of dark blue ink blot on the inside.

I think 'Security Envelopes' should light on fire while spraying white phosphorous all over with a 180dB siren blaring as soon as anybody unauthorized tried to open them. That would be real security. I would even mail cash in an envelope like that.

Or they should at least get a badge.

4 comments:

Teresa said...

I'm getting seriously concerned about your mental state, Justin!

Linda Stahr said...

No need for concern... He's been somewhat like this for most of his life. I think it has something to do with being put in a toy shopping cart as a young (very young) boy and then allowed to go down the stairs in aforementioned cart. Either that, or some other form of torture that an older sibling inflicted on him.

However... as an older sibling... I no longer need to wonder what you think about on a regular basis, Justin. It's all a little on the odd side.

Jesse said...

Justin, I think that would be great to have the sirens go off. Then everyone would know that you weren't suppose to open that letter.

Justin said...

Two replies, both directed towards Teresa:
1) At least I made it this far before you started figuring that out.
2) You might want to keep and eye on Jesse...after he starts thinking my ideas are good, it's a pretty slippery slope...