pump neighbors

Gas pumps always seem to generate socially awkward situations for me. And by ‘socially awkward situations’ I really mean a ‘more-socially-awkward-than-normal situations’. This is because nobody acknowledges me at gas pumps. It’s almost as though the person on the other side of the pump or the pump across from me (my Gas Pump Neighbor, as it were) hates me and all that I stand for. I’m pretty sure there’s an unspoken competition to see which of us can fill up their gas tank first, like I’m not worthy to breathe human-rated air if I’m still standing out in the cold when my GPN drives off, giggling gleefully under his/her/it's breath. This even happens when I offer a polite “HEY! YOU! IS YOUR HAIR SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT OR DID YOU HAVE AN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT AT A BEET FACTORY?!”

It’s a little disturbing.