vowel-less words

Norse mythology recently (36 minutes ago) became very interesting to me. This is because I read references to Ragnarök in two different, unaffiliated sources in as many days. Then I read the Wikipedia reference on Ragnarök which was very confusing. So after learning how to make ‘o’s like this: ö (Alt-0246), I prepared a much simpler version of the spine chilling, epic battle of the Norse gods.

Odin dies a grisly death caused by massive eaten-by-wolf-named-Fenrir related injuries in the very beginning. It was either that or bitten-by-snake related injuries but fortunately Thor (who was Odin’s son) was there to fend off the feisty fanged felon, Jörmungandr. As it turns out, Thor isn’t all that fantastic: ultimately all who die, lose and Thor loses after walking a pretty pansy nine steps (something about venom from giant snakes being bad for you).

Meanwhile, back at the ranch: Loki has been tied up because somehow he was complicit in the death of Baldr (Baldr having even less hair than his half-brother Bald). Baldr isn’t that important, except at the after Ragnarök when he’s resurrected and he sits around with some other ex-gods to sing Cum-by-ya and eventually they find some gold pieces and become Level 13 Dark Wizards. He was also the god associated with light and beauty, which is probably why he was able to be killed with a twig of mistletoe. Also, this was a pretty big deal leading up to Ragnarök because now all the other gods could no longer participate in their favorite pastime which happened to be throwing things at Baldr. They didn't have TV.

But back to Loki…

He’s bound with Narfi’s (his son) internal organs on some rocks while a snake leaks venom on his head, which ends up hurting a lot. This is a bad thing until he breaks free. Having never had the distinction of being called “the wisest of beings” like Odin, Loki tries to fight Heimdallr (who never sleeps and can hear grass grow) and they both kill each other. In an exciting twist of events: Jörmungandr turns out TO BE LOKI’S SON! But this doesn’t really matter because he’s already dead.

After that, Surtr, being the fjurk (English = jerk) that he was, covers the Earth in fire and everybody burns.

The end.

sea kittens

I'm doing my part to save the sea kittens from the grisly death that would surely await them next to my chips (that's English for 'French Fries') by making my own sea kitten:

I like to pretend he rides the motorcycle Melissa won't let me get (despite the tremendous fuel savings and minor chance that I would die).

Actually, I love sea kittens. I also love prairie puppies or, as they are commonly known, 'Hamburgers'. To quote my brother, who probably read this on a place-mat somewhere: if God didn't want us to eat animals, He wouldn't have made them so taste so good.

I think I'm going to go have some chicken nuggets.

my picture

This picture where I like to boast,
I look so good I have to post.
My pulchritude is fascinating,
I'm exquisite, a plus 10 rating.

Even with my facial fuzz,
I make your heart go all abuzz.
My bright blue eyes and brownish hair
Make you wish that you were there.

I caught a fish, as you can see,
It doesn't look as good as me.
With my coat, I'm not burlesque,
Though I remain quite statuesque.

It takes a fair amount of moxy
To admit that I look foxy.
But Melissa thinks I look so hot.
You can not argue I do not.

Ok. Enough of this nonsense. Melissa made me put this picture up because she has a thing about fish. It's weird. And kind of creepy. I think she was just jealous that I got to spend my New Years (and not the Chinese one) out on a frozen lake trying to slay sea kittens (http://www.peta.org/sea_kittens/) with some friends while she had to work.

Actually, I'm finally getting around to putting up a Christmas post. I know I"m not late because I'm sitting next to the Christmas tree right now. If I were late, we obviously wouldn't have our Christmas tree up. With the lights on. Obviously.

Christmas was actually pretty good. We spent it up north with Melissa's sister's family (who we'll call the "Hansen family" because that's their name). After much trepidation over the amount of presents the nephews and niece were receiving (too much, not too little), Melissa and I ended up being the last one's to open presents. This was good because by this time nobody really cared so I got off easy giving her an old lamp we inherited when we bought the house. I also got her a book which somebody reading this blog will probably open next year for Christmas. She got me some Hotwheels. It was awesome.

Other than that, life has been pretty uneventful. The Statistical Process Control (SPC) class I started for my Master's degree (in an as yet to be determined field) is pretty much a repeat of the easiest parts of the Engineering Statistics class I had to take two years ago. Melissa has been busy with her job which means that, for the most part, she likes it. Otherwise, nothing new.

And, just so you know, I think sea kittens are delicious with tartar sauce.

disappointment galore

I must say, I am very disappointed nobody voted for the worst leftovers ever.