vowel-less words

Norse mythology recently (36 minutes ago) became very interesting to me. This is because I read references to Ragnarök in two different, unaffiliated sources in as many days. Then I read the Wikipedia reference on Ragnarök which was very confusing. So after learning how to make ‘o’s like this: ö (Alt-0246), I prepared a much simpler version of the spine chilling, epic battle of the Norse gods.

Odin dies a grisly death caused by massive eaten-by-wolf-named-Fenrir related injuries in the very beginning. It was either that or bitten-by-snake related injuries but fortunately Thor (who was Odin’s son) was there to fend off the feisty fanged felon, Jörmungandr. As it turns out, Thor isn’t all that fantastic: ultimately all who die, lose and Thor loses after walking a pretty pansy nine steps (something about venom from giant snakes being bad for you).

Meanwhile, back at the ranch: Loki has been tied up because somehow he was complicit in the death of Baldr (Baldr having even less hair than his half-brother Bald). Baldr isn’t that important, except at the after Ragnarök when he’s resurrected and he sits around with some other ex-gods to sing Cum-by-ya and eventually they find some gold pieces and become Level 13 Dark Wizards. He was also the god associated with light and beauty, which is probably why he was able to be killed with a twig of mistletoe. Also, this was a pretty big deal leading up to Ragnarök because now all the other gods could no longer participate in their favorite pastime which happened to be throwing things at Baldr. They didn't have TV.

But back to Loki…

He’s bound with Narfi’s (his son) internal organs on some rocks while a snake leaks venom on his head, which ends up hurting a lot. This is a bad thing until he breaks free. Having never had the distinction of being called “the wisest of beings” like Odin, Loki tries to fight Heimdallr (who never sleeps and can hear grass grow) and they both kill each other. In an exciting twist of events: Jörmungandr turns out TO BE LOKI’S SON! But this doesn’t really matter because he’s already dead.

After that, Surtr, being the fjurk (English = jerk) that he was, covers the Earth in fire and everybody burns.

The end.