poll closed

The majority of you are losers. How does that feel?

I think it feels great. But then again, I wasn't in the majority.

high class

As I was reading through posts made over the last couple of years I noticed that this blog has a fairly high percentage of potty related posts.  This is wholly unacceptable and I definitely feel the need to do something to rectify the situation. After all, this is supposed to be a family friendly blog.

As such, I would like to let you all know that Melissa's pregnancy has some weird side-effects; namely when I pee, she barfs.

That should bump our percentage from 'fairly high' to 'high'.

new possibilities

I think everyone has at least one ethereal experience that really can't be compared to anything they've ever experienced before. As Melissa and I prepare to become parents, I had one of those good fortunes. I'm sure you're all wondering what could have created such a feeling of elation and euphoria so I'll tell you.

I found out that I may have the opportunity to someday own a goat riding monkey. Don't worry, I too was floored by the mere possibility.

Unfortunately, the wait could be long and tedious as the only goat riding monkey that I've ever heard of was in China and had the bad habit of riding his goat into a neighboring farmer's field and "eating and causing trouble". It was a pretty smart monkey though - it would wait until there were no workers in the field before commencing his shenanigans.

I would train my goat riding monkey to be more respectful.

big surprise

I think a pretty big surprise would be if somebody you were looking at suddenly woke up, then died.  I think an even bigger surprise would be if that person you were looking at was laying in a coffin and you thought they were already dead.

That's kind of what happened to a guy in Russia.  His wife had a heart attack and the doctors told him she was dead.  Then, during the funeral, she woke up.  Surprise!  Then she died.  Surprise again!  She died because all of her friends and family were standing around her mourning that she was dead.  It shocked her so much that now she is.  I'm not sure if that means people would have said she was predictable or not.

I guess that really saves time on planning the funeral though.  Of course, without any kind of embalming, it kind of sounds like the lady was sort of stuck in a box at the lowest price possible, so maybe the guy wasn't really out all that much in the first place.  But at least you don't have to return all the condolence potatoes and vodka.