Did you know gophers hibernate? I didn’t either. Apparently they do, and (depending on who you ask) Gill is no exception. By ‘who you ask’ I really mean: Melissa or me. If you ask me, Gill is sleeping peacefully in his cozy little hole somewhere in the now deceased flower garden. If you ask Melissa, Gill has begun construction on weapons of mass destruction, ran a bus full of pregnant ladies off a cliff, and makes obscene gestures at nuns.
This is a problem because I am the one who is being sent to take care of the problem. By ‘take care of the problem’ I really mean: follow Melissa's directions to dig holes randomly until you happen to find the one in which Gill has decided to fall asleep. This is not a good solution. This is ‘less effective’. This creates lots more work because all of those holes have to be refilled and made to look pretty again. By me. This is not high on my list of priorities.
My plan is to open diplomatic negotiations with Gill. Then shoot him in the face.
Another 10 minutes of your life you'll never get back...
I never lecture, not becuase I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them. - H. L. Mencken
4 comments:
Did you know they sell gopher traps at Cal Ranch?
Yes. But don't tell Melissa because that still involves digging around in the front yard.
I think Melissa may already know... according to the neighbor down the street from me, the best way to kill a gopher is to hire a Mexican and have a Mexican standoff. Still not sure how that helps, but...
I seriously feel so bad for the poor gopher who has no idea who he's messing with...can't wait to see what the outcome is.
Laughing out loud at this one.
Good luck...
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