After finding a pretty screaming deal on airline mile tickets, Melissa and I escaped the frigid wastelands of Utah for the balmy tropics of Alaska (where it was only -8 for a couple of days) over the Christmas holidays. It was awesome. Especially because nobody knew we were coming except my brother and his wife.
I've never seen my mom so excited about something. We were sleeping on the floor downstairs when she came in to check for something and accidentally flipped on the light. As she was trying to apologize profusely, I poked my head up and it took her a second to realize I wasn't my brother-in-law (who had mentioned sleeping over that night). Then she started saying things like 'how did you get here' and 'you're not Nick' in really high octaves while doing super fast jazz hands with skippy feet.
My sister was then next one to find out later that morning. While she was giving my mom a hug, I came up and sandwiched her from behind and started digging my chin into her back. Her only comment was 'I don't know who that is but it feels good so don't stop.' Then I bit her. When she turned around I got to hear another high pitched voice screaming something about how 'now it can be Christmas'.
My dad was the last person at the house to find out and had probably the least spectacular reaction (but still pretty spectacular considering my dad). As he followed my brother up the stairs talking about the social acceptance of wearing underwear as a towel (because being seen in a towel is apparently more acceptable than being seen in underwear, thus raising the question: would it be more appropriate to use your underwear as a towel rather than actually wearing them if you didn't have any other clothes?), I jumped out from behind the banister and tried to scare him. It took a second for him to react with a clutching of the heart and staggering halfway back down the stairs. As it turns out, the delay was due to him trying to figure out how my brother went from standing right in front of him to jumping out from behind the banister in a split second.
We hit my other two sisters and their families at a baby blessing later that morning by walking in through the side door after everyone had already taken their seats. My brother-in-law Ethan was the first to see us and commented: "Oh. My. Goodness." Then everyone else looked and another round of high voices and onslaught of hugs ensued followed by a general mobbing by the nieces and nephews.
Definitely worth it. Except for the permanent hearing loss.
12 January 2010
22 December 2009
17 December 2009
white elephant
Yesterday was my work Christmas party during which we had our traditional white elephant gift exchange.
Melissa brought an XL pair of leopard print granny panties.
How embarrassing.
Melissa brought an XL pair of leopard print granny panties.
How embarrassing.
08 December 2009
perplexing question
For some reason, I feel like the answer to this question is just out of my reach. Like when something's on the tip of your tongue and you just can't think of it. So here goes.
We know that Newton's First Law of Motion states: In the absence of force, a body either is at rest or moves in a straight line with constant speed (basically, once you start moving, you'll keep moving unless something changes). We know that a point on the outside of a rotating disc is necessarily traveling faster than a point closer to the center of the same rotating disc in order to cover a greater circumference in the same amount of time. We also know that gravitational force exerted by an object increases as distance between objects decreases according to the equation: PE = -G*(m1*m2)/r; (where G = gravitational constant, 6.67*10^-11; m1 = mass of object 1; m2 = mass of object 2; and r = distance between center of object 1 and object 2). And we know that light does not escape black holes and can even be bent by the extraordinary gravitational pull from a black hole.
So here’s the question: If light (we’ll name him Jim) were to approach off-center of a black hole (we’ll name him Bill) but within the very edge of the event horizon (the point at which nothing can escape Bill), Jim would supposedly spiral towards Bill’s center (remember that Bill is three dimensional and equally strong in all directions, much like myself after 5 days of camping). In order to continue moving inward (hence the spiral) Jim would have to have a continuous force acting radially from Bill’s center (Newton’s 1st Law), which force is actually increasing according to the boring equation referenced in the previous paragraph. So if the force is increasing as Jim get’s closer to Bill, the distance between the annuli of the spiral (as measured radially) must be increasing. So far, this means that if you were to draw a line (we’ll call her Cathy) straight out from Bill’s center and if Jim were to make one complete revolution at the beginning of his journey in some given amount of time, he will make one complete revolution towards the end of his journey (after spiraling inwards) in much less time because he has a much shorter distance to travel (if it were a circle, the circumference would be much smaller), and the distance between annuli as measured on Cathy is also increasing.
Okay, we haven’t gotten to the question yet. But we’re getting more confused.
Anyway, the spiral traced by Jim as described would probably approximate a Fermat spiral or at least the first half of a Fermat spiral. So if you were to be a casual observer (we’ll call you Otis) and could watch all of this happen (which you couldn’t really) from a fixed point in space outside Bill's event horizon, would it appear as though Jim sped up, slowed down, or didn't change speed has he approached Bill? Also, if Jim were aimed directly at Bill, would he speed up as he approached Bill and was acted upon with ever-increasing force by Bill’s overwhelming gravitational pull even though the speed of light is supposedly as fast as anything can go? Also, also, who names their kid Otis?
We know that Newton's First Law of Motion states: In the absence of force, a body either is at rest or moves in a straight line with constant speed (basically, once you start moving, you'll keep moving unless something changes). We know that a point on the outside of a rotating disc is necessarily traveling faster than a point closer to the center of the same rotating disc in order to cover a greater circumference in the same amount of time. We also know that gravitational force exerted by an object increases as distance between objects decreases according to the equation: PE = -G*(m1*m2)/r; (where G = gravitational constant, 6.67*10^-11; m1 = mass of object 1; m2 = mass of object 2; and r = distance between center of object 1 and object 2). And we know that light does not escape black holes and can even be bent by the extraordinary gravitational pull from a black hole.
So here’s the question: If light (we’ll name him Jim) were to approach off-center of a black hole (we’ll name him Bill) but within the very edge of the event horizon (the point at which nothing can escape Bill), Jim would supposedly spiral towards Bill’s center (remember that Bill is three dimensional and equally strong in all directions, much like myself after 5 days of camping). In order to continue moving inward (hence the spiral) Jim would have to have a continuous force acting radially from Bill’s center (Newton’s 1st Law), which force is actually increasing according to the boring equation referenced in the previous paragraph. So if the force is increasing as Jim get’s closer to Bill, the distance between the annuli of the spiral (as measured radially) must be increasing. So far, this means that if you were to draw a line (we’ll call her Cathy) straight out from Bill’s center and if Jim were to make one complete revolution at the beginning of his journey in some given amount of time, he will make one complete revolution towards the end of his journey (after spiraling inwards) in much less time because he has a much shorter distance to travel (if it were a circle, the circumference would be much smaller), and the distance between annuli as measured on Cathy is also increasing.
Okay, we haven’t gotten to the question yet. But we’re getting more confused.
Anyway, the spiral traced by Jim as described would probably approximate a Fermat spiral or at least the first half of a Fermat spiral. So if you were to be a casual observer (we’ll call you Otis) and could watch all of this happen (which you couldn’t really) from a fixed point in space outside Bill's event horizon, would it appear as though Jim sped up, slowed down, or didn't change speed has he approached Bill? Also, if Jim were aimed directly at Bill, would he speed up as he approached Bill and was acted upon with ever-increasing force by Bill’s overwhelming gravitational pull even though the speed of light is supposedly as fast as anything can go? Also, also, who names their kid Otis?
03 December 2009
good idea
There is no way that this:
is not a fantastic idea.
A 29lb sled with a 220 lb weight capacity built for old people to “withstand extreme use”. How could that possibly be a bad idea? It even has three different motion restricting, escape-proof restraining devices (they call them ‘safety straps’) and a head rest which practically guarantees that in the event of an overturn your forehead will be dragged through razor sharp shards of ice the absolute maximum distance possible. There's really nothing that says "I love you" like complete immobilization - it's even got a strap for the feet! With a narrow ski-base and precariously high center of gravity, keeling over into an uncontrollable tumble is practically inevitable. And for extra speed, there’s even a handlebar on the back for those “Here goes Grandpa!” push-offs. How exciting!
As if that’s not enough to make you go out and buy it right now, the runners are solid steel ensuring zero deflection as they slice through your extremities with the ease of a French Revolutionary guillotine. With not one but TWO “independently operating brakes” there’s no shortage of things to be talking/yelling/screaming bloody murder about as you careen down a 60 degree incline towards what will either be the most awesome jump over 17 cars and a school bus ever or a grisly scene of death and mayhem where miscellaneous body parts are sorted and piled for future identification to the sound of distant sirens and wailing car alarms. The only color available is red so the blood stains won’t even show up!
It's even on sale for a mere $429.00 + shipping and handling. Unfortunately, it’s only for riders with good head, neck, and trunk control so I guess I’ll have to find something else for the father-in-law…
A 29lb sled with a 220 lb weight capacity built for old people to “withstand extreme use”. How could that possibly be a bad idea? It even has three different motion restricting, escape-proof restraining devices (they call them ‘safety straps’) and a head rest which practically guarantees that in the event of an overturn your forehead will be dragged through razor sharp shards of ice the absolute maximum distance possible. There's really nothing that says "I love you" like complete immobilization - it's even got a strap for the feet! With a narrow ski-base and precariously high center of gravity, keeling over into an uncontrollable tumble is practically inevitable. And for extra speed, there’s even a handlebar on the back for those “Here goes Grandpa!” push-offs. How exciting!
As if that’s not enough to make you go out and buy it right now, the runners are solid steel ensuring zero deflection as they slice through your extremities with the ease of a French Revolutionary guillotine. With not one but TWO “independently operating brakes” there’s no shortage of things to be talking/yelling/screaming bloody murder about as you careen down a 60 degree incline towards what will either be the most awesome jump over 17 cars and a school bus ever or a grisly scene of death and mayhem where miscellaneous body parts are sorted and piled for future identification to the sound of distant sirens and wailing car alarms. The only color available is red so the blood stains won’t even show up!
It's even on sale for a mere $429.00 + shipping and handling. Unfortunately, it’s only for riders with good head, neck, and trunk control so I guess I’ll have to find something else for the father-in-law…
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